Gray Shorts are for Computer Programmers.

Hello world!

So occasionally in life, I have what seems to be a good idea, that turns out to actually be pretty lousy. And yes, most of these occasions are actually when I buy clothes.  And maybe that's because I don't get very much practice? Buying clothing has never been something I've really enjoyed, unless it's for fancy shirts/ties/suits in Italy. BUT. I actually do kind of like Target clothes shopping. Everything is so cheap; I feel like I am being ridiculous to not buy anything. And since I run/gym sort of often I like to get athletic clothes and on one particular Target experience, I decided to really shake things up and get some gray athletic shorts instead of black ones. I was feeling bold. WORST MISTAKE EVER! It took me a couple weeks of gray short wearing to realize that I looked like I was going to eat Cheetos and write computer code instead of go bench press.

Look at how awkward/uncomfortable he looks in gray shorts!

This week has been a tough one.  It should be easy-livin' summer time, and it is, but sometimes real life hits you, and you realize that you're sort of grown up and have to deal with hard things.  My truck's transmission gave out.  My computer broke.  My health's been eh.  And I keep seeing all the dollar signs add up and I start to wonder if Europe wasn't such a good idea, and if med school wasn't such a good idea, etc. etc. etc., and at times the stress sets in thickkkk.  But yesterday I realized that we have power over our happiness regardless of extraneous circumstances.  I felt like I was walking through a fog while stressing over everything when I got to school yesterday, but then I just tried to talk to random people I met to take my mind off of my worries.  The cashier at the food court.  The cleaning lady. Ok that's it and that was only 2 but you know what?  I think 100's of students walk by those people everyday without stopping to talk for a minute. And it felt REALLY good to talk to them. Now they might have just been ticked that I was trying to talk to them, but whatev.  Happy Thursday!

Cinematography pt. 2

Happy Spring Break!

My first spring break since 2005.  Are you kidding me?  Well I'm spending it in 70 degree California sunshine and planning a trip to Europe, so I guess it's been worth the wait.  Alright so the whole "cinematography" title was my idea over a month ago, when I saw a couple movies in one weekend and I wanted to write about them.  Of course now no one cares.  But too bad you cant stifle my month-old excitement!!!

Yes judge away!  But I really really enjoyed this movie.  Here's what you need to know: 1. It is dumb. 2. It has some gross parts. 3. It is completely AWESOME.  Go see it with people that like to laugh and have fun and you wont be disappointed.  Please do not take it seriously or try to analyze its deeper meaning.  I just felt like it was fun and very refreshing because frankly, I've grown tired of the smorgasbord of various zombie apocalypse movies and tv shows that have inundated media outlets the last few years.

Oh yes does this movie boost my indie cred?  It has been lacking for 25 years now, so hopefully. (I was super indie in the womb?) And I'm not going to recommend it to everyone.  I'm guessing this is a movie people either love or absolutely loathe.  I actually loved it.  I watched this movie by myself, and I think it is best seen that way.  Or maybe with someone that is willing to invest some time into it and give it a chance.  It tells the story of Mike Birbiglia, a stand up comedian that I've had the privilege of seeing live, and his struggles with a severe sleep walking condition.  This movie probably doesn't make anyone's top ten fav movies list, but you can appreciate that it is well made and honest storytelling.

Have you seen any good movies lately?  Please let me know!

Ross

Cinematography pt.1

Ok seriously guys??  Zero page views today?  Google has informed me of this travesty.  I mean I know I haven't posted in like two weeks but I'm shocked you're not still re-reading my last post.  It was illuminating, I'm sure.  Anyway, happy Friday night!  It's a party out here in AZ!  Actually I am taking a study break at 930 pm to blog.  I'm sure the party is just getting started though, right?  Actually I've noticed it's a lot easier for me to just sit in and study and pretend Friday night is just any other night when I'm not living south of 800N in P-town.  This is my vivid memory of a Friday night in Provo:

(thoughtstream©)  ---- (Welcome to 2013.  You can read my thoughts!)

6pm

Thought 1: Oh no I didn't ask a girl out 3 days ago and I have no date tonight.  And of course I can't ask any to hang out now for some reason because then the girl thinks that they are second choice and they will invariably say no.  So both girl and guy sit at home on Friday night and avoid doing what they'd prefer doing! (ok, that's a rant for another day)

Thought 2: Well time to get cafe rio.

7pm
Thought 3: Whyyyyyy did I eat so muchhhhhh?!

Thought 4: Ok it's 8pm and I keep seeing dudes I don't know walk by my window with girls from my ward after picking them up for a date.  I can't just sit around here and waste my time and increase my waistline.  TIME TO GET DOWN TO BUSINESS!! I'll crack open the books and get way caught up and feel super good about myself.

Thought 5: It's 850pm and I haven't done a thing.  And there's a loud dance party across the street.  I like dancing.  Wait remember how after 8 minutes I run through every dance move I know 5 times and then I don't know what to do??  Yeah, good thing I'm not there.  Hey I know I'll go to the library to study!  Maybe I'll meet a girl.

Thought 6: (930pm) WHY AM I THE ONLY CAUCASIAN HUMAN IN THIS LIBRARY?!

Thought 7:  It's way too quite here.  This is depressing.  Time to start texting dudes to see if anyone else is also doing as little as I am.  

...And the night then ends watching a-movie-I'm-not-very-interested-in/ESPN with my dudes and eating some kind of sugary food bomb. (Which actually sounds kind of good righ...wait no!)

Ok, sorry for the long aside.  My feelings in summary are that these kind of nights happen less than before.  But maybe it's pathetic to say that they still sort of happen.  Minus the cafe rio and plus the Sr. Taco. (see picture)  

Well I had all these good intentions of writing about the last two films I viewed, (tried to sound hoity-toity there) but this is the longest post I have ever written while simultaneously saying very little.  So get ready for part two!  Coming soon! (Hopefully within two weeks.) (No promises.)

-Milton W

p.s. I may begin some contributory writing for another blog with some friends, called "just a couple of joes."  We'll see if it gets off the ground.  Also I want to start a podcast.  Also I'm delusional.  

Mmmmm Burrito.

Back

You know when one of your favorite all time bands goes into hiding for awhile, and you don't hear from them for a few years?  They're probably touring, becoming rich, and tweeting. Nothing else.  Ok but seriously, the day finally arrives when your friend says, "hey did you hear so-and-so is finally coming out with a new record??" and you naturally freak out and write in your facebook status about how excited you are (only to realize 12 other people have the same exact status posted in the last hour).  Then the day finally arrives that the album drops (or the new trend of leaking out individual songs ala Taylor Swift, etc.  speaking of Taylor Swift...no wait we'll come back to her.) Anyway, the day finally comes, you buy the tape, CD, whole mp3 album off of itunes, vinyl record because you're super hipster, put it on repeat (do records do that?  I'm sure they do) and prepare for the best day of your life.  And then it isn't.  In fact you end up skipping to the second track hoping for something to knock you off your feet.  And then of course the third and fourth on down the line until you realize you are late for class and you'll have to spend more time with your super hipster vinyl record later.

After a few more listens, you find yourself talking to a friend and saying, "this album is different, I think it's one that just has to grow on you but I think I'm really starting to love it!"  Two weeks later and you've completely moved on.  And of course, subsequent albums are released by this same fav band, except they never really recapture what endeared them to you so much in the first place.  Did they run out of material?  Did they sell out for fame, fortune, and hot babes that are dumb?

Let this be an extremely tangential reintroduction to my little writing space.  I started this blog almost 6 years ago, and I've had lulls (not as many lols, sorry I'll work on that) in writing here and there, but in the last year I've become awful at writing anything.  Call it the insidious effects of being a medical student, but I truly haven't given this thing any time.  And I wondered, "am I just really boring now?" 'Am I becoming one of those old people that  "doesn't get the obsession with facebook" etc. because they actually have real lives and maybe secretly don't really know how to use it?" Or perhaps I just lost interest with writing about myself and my experiences in such a sparsely-frequented public forum.  To be honest, I think being busy has had a lot to do with it.  And if there's one thing I've come to realize more fully in the last year, it's that authentic, meaningful relationships are one of the most fulfilling things in life.  And so I've been aiming to dedicate more time to those than to "with-my-by-myself," clankin' away at the keyboard.  Time is such a limited commodity, and it is a shame that we spend so much time fighting boredom when there is so much of life to live, and so much good to do in the world.  I pledge to give more attention to this space in 2013, but it will definitely come at the cost of something else.  One of my favorite all time quotes is from the oft-quoted/adored President Dieter f. Uchtorf, of the quorum of the twelve apostles:

Brethren, we all know that it takes self-discipline to remain focused on the matters that have the greatest power to increase our love for God and fellowman, invigorate marriages, strengthen families, and build the kingdom of God on earth. Like a fruit tree with an abundance of branches and leaves, our lives need regular pruning to ensure that we use our energy and time to accomplish our real purpose

I know that with discipline and trust in God, that we can make so much more of our lives.  It requires dedicated time to do away with wasteful parts of our lives, so that we can focus on the most meaningful parts.  To all of you that I haven't talked to in forever; I think about you guys a lot.  I'm doing really well, in both medical school and in health and happiness.  It's been in the 70's and sunny in Arizona, and it's the perfect weather after weeks of (sort of) cold that whispers of an unknown excitement.

I may not be your favorite band whose album you've been anxiously awaiting, but regardless, know that I haven't sold out for fame, fortune, nor for hot babes that are dumb. (haha ok it was a weird analogy, and yes I took the weird analogy way too far.  Weirdly)

But hopefully I'll be able to say that my best writing endeavors are those ahead of me, and not behind.

-Ross

p.s. ok now about Taylor, can we stop making her out to be such an exemplary role model as a famous female?  I mean sure there are worse ones (like avril lavigne) (just kidding) (remember her?) but first of all, Swift's last album was pure garbage.  Let's just be honest about it.  Every time I'm in a store and I hear "re-red-red, re-red-red, re-red" I wonder if their itunes is frozen.  (or maybe their vinyl record?) And on top of that she dates all these weird older/younger/harry (get it) men and I'm not sure she's so much more modest or conservative or even original as any other famous girl artist out there.

Ok she's definitely better than Kesha.  Whoops forgot the $ in her name.

I'm callin' you out Taylor, for being as much of an imposter as Manti Te'o's non-girlfriend. (you know I had to sneak that in somewhere!)

My two cents on today: Giants win in the rain was SWEET. Maybe I'll jump on the bandwagon if it's not too late.

The presidential debates always disappoint me. Do you vote for the flip floppy guy that doesn't seem very honest, or the articulate guy that hasn't enacted a lot of positive change in the past 4 years.

Also Taylor Swift's new album kind of stinks, let's just say it.  Except for...



Also, today I've been thinking about parameters for measuring success in life.  My test didn't go so hot today, and I was pretty bummed since I had worked so hard studying for it.  But obviously there are better ways to measure your life than the wins and losses of temporal things.  This is a bit lengthy, but it's a great read from an LDS professor at the Harvard Business School.    Ok bed time!

Countdowns

Oh people still blog!  That is exciting.  Since my blog skills fell off the planet this last year I wasn't sure if there was something in the water that made everyone a horrible writer or if it was just me.  Yup just me.  Anyway, I live in Arizona!  No pics for now, but there will be some.  Probably two months from now because, remember, I stink at blogging. Anyway, I have actually been in this rather hot state for...5 weeks now?  And by state I mean United State not physiological state of being....that would be totes awkward.  Anyway, I've been running lately, and on the treadmill because it's 100 degrees at nighttime, and I was reminded of something I feel strongly about.  Countdowns suck.  Never count down to something.  When I'm on the treadmill, and look down to see that I've been on for 5 minutes, sometimes I think of my target time (6 minutes) (just kidding) (usually) and I keep looking down to see if I've made it or not.  And it makes every second on that dang treadmill so miserable.  But if I just start people watching the stereotypical gym people or watch tv, the time seems to go a lot faster, and I actually go for more than 6 minutes on that dang treadmill.

Example Number 2: Once upon-a-time I was in the mtc and I tore my acl, and went out to Italy without surgery.  Well as I was traipsing around my first city, Mantova, I started to notice that my knee was hurting really badly.  And it didn't go away.  And at that point I wasn't thinking about the baptisms or stopping people on the street to talk or learning Italian, but about the fact that I couldn't make it two years with my bum knee feeling the way it was.  So I made a countdown to the date of our interviews when I'd talk to Prez and tell him "uhhh my knee isn't working right" and then he'd send me home for surgery and I'd serve the rest of my mission in Iowa.  At least that's how I worked it out in my mind.  And the countdown was supposed to help me get through those very difficult first days/weeks when my knee hurt with every step, I couldn't understand anything people were saying in Italian, and my companion was a real winner.  Welp, I obviously didn't go home, but got transferred to another city where they didn't use bikes, just buses, and everything turned out fine.  But I remember those days of my countdown, when each day felt like an eternity, and as I kept looking down to see how far I'd made it, I didn't notice any real progress.

Well, I didn't mean for this to be so long and circuitous, but sometimes I find myself counting down here in Arizona; counting down until I can visit Provo friends, or counting down until I can make it to our next school break.  But in my experience, counting down is the most miserable of activities.

To finish, a quote that I liked recently from a certain Jim Elliot: "Wherever you are, be all there"   

M Words

Hey I still have a blog!  I haven't been on here forever, I know, and it's pretty embarrassing.  Also auto correct just notified me that I misspelled embarrassing...so the embarrassment is just multiplying.  Anyway I've been sick for AGES and just struggling to make it through the days, but also I've been having so much fun!  My two weeks in Santa Barbara were some of the best memories of 2012 for me so far.  Seriously, I loved hanging out with awesome and inspiring youth, eating daily at the DLG (made famous by Jack Johnson), making tons of new friends with the normal counselors, and making fun of the drama filled lives of the clique-ish counselors.  Weird that so many counselors start acting like they're in high school again when they work with high schoolers.

After each of my weeks, all the girls in my group decided to leave me with a very kind parting message as they said goodbye to me: "Get Married Hamilton!" Thanks guys.  I had never really thought about marriage, but I guess now that you bring it up, maybe I should look into it.  Which leads to the M Words on my mind this week:

Marriage.  Military.  Money.  Medicine.  MOVING.

15 more days of Provo.  Let's party before it's all over.    

What the new blogger...Guess that shows I haven't been around in awhile. Anyway, I'm home! Or, I dunno, I guess home could really be Provo or California now...or even Arizona in a few months! But yeah, I'm in Roseville. And it's nice and sunny. It's been sort of a boring stay...the parents are in Puerto Rico, and my brother has school and shenanigans with his friends. So it's mostly just me, and my only real responsibility is to walk the dog. Hmm. Remember when you were like 15, and having a super deep CoNvO with your secret crush on instant messenger, and you would ask each other, "where do you picture yourself in 10 years?" Did you ever say, "oh, I dunno, livin' at home, pickin' up dawg crap, stuff like that..." Boy, being 25 rocks! Haha ok, that sounds really demeaning. Honestly life isn't bad, just taking a break between graduation and summer camps before I move off to AZ for med school. I guess it could be worse right?

Anyway, I know it seems like I've given up writing on this thing. That's only partly true. It was one of my informal resolutions this year to restrict my cyber presence, and to focus on trying to have more real life experiences with people. Seems fair enough right? Basically, more random phone calls, less texts, less Facebook, etc. etc. Even though that sounds like a really old man thing to do, it has been refreshing, and I've had some good experiences with it.

 There are times in life when you are kind of down, and God totally throws you a bone. Maybe that's a weird way to say it, but let me illustrate with a story. As I was living in Pordenone, Italy during the last few months of my mission, I was stuck with a difficult companion who hadn't been out long and was getting a little discouraged. One particular day I was exhausted and we were knocking on doors and getting rejected left and right. So we walked toward the next street, and I stopped to lean against a low, metal fence. With my head down, feeling pretty dejected and trying to decide if we should keep going or try something different, I heard someone open a door and walk out on a nearby balcony. My companion was a goofy kid, but occasionally he could be pretty friendly, and shouted out a rushed "buon giorno" to, I assumed, whoever had stepped out on the balcony. I didn't really expect a response, but one came, and I looked up. A middle aged Italian man was on the first floor balcony not 15 feet from us. He smiled and asked us how we were. I wasn't ready yet to get excited, until he asked if we would stop by sometime next week and talk about the church. Whaaaaaaaat?! That had happened a total of zero times to me previously, and here I was, feeling down and leaning against a fence, and God sends a guy out on his balcony to remind me to have faith and keep my head up. (moral of the story: try less hard and lean against fences?)

Ever had an experience like that? I had another one this week. A girl that I've always thought was cute added me on facebook. Stupid right? Of course it is, but for some reason, it helped me to remember to keep my head up and to have faith. So don't forget it! Oh and of course, like every BYU guy does while not in school, I tried to grow a beard for a few days until I remembered, I don't like facial hair.

All goes onward and outward-nothing collapses

My good friend Walt Whitman penned those words, and they have inspired me on various occasions. Sometimes I look back and think where did these times go?

But life doesn't always have a..hollywood ending...I guess you could say, if you're into puns. And when I start to regret, things like these help me to realize I have had quite a last year. I would have missed so much:








Who knows if I'm on the best path, or where I would've been had I taken another, but I plan on making the most of the one I'm on. Happy President's Day!

Ferie

I woke up a few days ago thinking about how amazing it must be for a bear when it wakes up from hibernation and gets to eat FOOD again. I would love to experience that. Also every year in Provo around November I start to wish that I could hibernate until March or April when it starts to warm up. (Or sometimes it doesn't warm up 'til July...crazy utah weather)

I just spent the last hour (ok it could've been two hours) listening to Taylor Swift and looking at photography of Italy and it was awesome. Judge away, haters gonna hate!

I need to go baccccckkkkkk.




Happy New Year!

Gratitudine

Before it gets too late...

I'm thankful for FAMILY, and being able to spend time with them, and being able to remember how important they are to you when you haven't seen them for a while. (Sorry you didn't get in the pic mom but you don't like pictures! I'm also thankful for my mom.)

I'm thankful for stupid things that inspire you and keep you motivated.

I'm thankful that in this world of online and cyber-everything, we can still write things. And that occasionally when you flip through your old notebooks, you find little remnants of good times.

I'm thankful that I've been accepted to medical school! The process isn't over, so I'm still not for sure where I'll end up, but it feels good to know that someday I'll be a real grown up doing real things.

I'm thankful for good friends that inspire me to be so much more than I am. I'm thankful for times I will never forget.


Happy Thanksgiving!

Confessions.

Look out Usher, I've got some confessions of my own, but they are probably slightly different than yours. Ok deep breath...Lately I've realized I have crushes on a lot of girls sporting...in this order...




Black Red and Gray. If you're guilty of wearing these I am also guilty of probably liking them. Sorry...shoes that's so weird and why did this not happen like 2 years ago when toms first got big? Maybe my love of African children is just beginning.

Also I saw this vid a couple of days ago while I was getting distracted from schoolwork. It's of Michelle Obama in DC with kids supporting her "Let's Move" campaign (Which I think is awesome...at least in theory, even if it hasn't solved childhood obesity). So you don't need to watch this whole video, just go ahead to like 1:50 where black girls are showing their innate dancing skills, and then please enjoy the poor white girl at around 2:02 who is just struggling to fit in with her soulful sisters.

B-sides pt. 2

Back! After a rough week of schooling, B-sides pt.2 is here to debut...Blind Pilot! This duo is famous for having toured from Oregon..or Washington..or something...to San Fran. On bicycles. Anyway they are real fun. The first song is from their new 2011 cd, which I actually don't love except for this song, while the second song is probably their most famous. bam!

B-Sides pt.1

I've been finding some very B-side worthy music lately...stuff that's great because I just barely stumbled upon it, but probably wont be on heavy rotation a year from now. The first band is called Young the Giant, who I could see having a very successful career. These guys have the look of Vampire Weekend, with the sound of the pop version of "the used"...if that's imaginable. (Yup...that emo band from utah that was big 10 years ago). That's my best take on them. The first video is a music video for one of their standout songs, "cough syrup."



The second video is a cool little project they've done called "the open session", where they've played a bunch of their songs in random outdoorsy places. This is one of my favorites called "Strings"



Just a little fun listening, but nothing life changing for me at least. Tomorrow brings more B-sides!

ESPN

Every once in a while I feel justified for wasting time watching SportsCenter

52 days

I never know what I want for Christmas. But this year is different:

A Volte Si Parla D'amore...

This is the kind of blog post I try extra hard to never do. The kind that talks about serious things; the kind that spits out to the public (of like...4 people) what is rambling around aimlessly in my head. But I'll make it quick. And here it goes:

One of the most profound things I've heard in the last little while about dating and about love came from ELDER'S QUORUM. I know miracle right? Amongst the legions of 20-somethings flinging angry birds at walls and checking ESPN on their smart phones, my friend Robby Meldau related dating to pizza, and it totally clicked for me. I know that sounds ridiculous, but I shouldn't be surprised. Not only do I love food but since I did live in Italy as missionary and all... Anyway I can't remember the context of the conversation, but he talked about how we are always too eager to make a relationship work every time there's a little spark. Every time we feel anything at all, we get all overly excited and impatient about this one, being THE one. The analogy was that we often try to "pull the pizza out of the oven too early, before it's done." And it's so true. Be patient, let things run their proper course and the reward will be so great.

Also I'm hungry.

My second thought is something I'm sometimes guilty of, but I think a lot of us do it. The old saying is "don't put all your eggs in one basket," but sometimes I think that's the worst thing you can do in dating and relationships. Sure it's important to date around, to have lots of friends of the opposite gender to get perspective, but if you like someone, and you think it's right, go all in. The worst thing you can do is to be enamored with someone one day, and then worry about getting hurt and hang out with 4 other people during the week just so that if the first option doesn't work, you can pretend it never mattered to you that much anyway. We all need ways to cope with rejection and frustrations, but be brave, have hope, and most of all, be honest with yourself and those around you.

Sorry if that got a little weird, haha. Just to ruin the whole mood of the post...sometimes planking makes me laugh, even though it's so dumb. Something about seeing a 7 foot man (Javale McGee) in a freezer (with PIZZAS. There's the connection!) just gets me every time.

Back from Nassau County; Happy Tuesday

Apparently this song was on the movie Real Steel, which i haven't seen but now I might, just to hear this song. It's great. I have to study for a test but NY info will come...

Halloween Costume

I know what I want to be.

Sometimes-

-School takes over your life. And you don't see your roommate awake for 48 hours. And you keep hearing the music playing at the library at night. And you stop exercising as much as you should. Yup, this is one of those weeks. But somehow I've still found a way to start thinking about which one of these phones to get when my phone contract is up:



And I have also recently been wanting a Kindle Fire so badly. What's up with me being so materialistic all of the sudden? Anyway, Guster is one of my favorite bands.(perfect segue right?) I could talk Guster all day long, but since I need to take a test in an hour and twenty minutes, I'll just throw up a video. (I tried to upload one from their last SLC concert I went to, but it was taking foreverrrr)
Anyway, put the headphones in and turn it up a bit, this one's fun.

Anyway, I got to meet these guys the second time I saw them live, and they were so cool. Just real normal and fun people that have families and make great music.